it Begins

School. It begins... TomoRroW. Yup. It begins tomorrow and I am nowhere near ready. GoD!! One more week, P-Lease?! Hmph. No answer. Guess i have no choice, huh? Ah well. I'm not gonna fret. Anyway, I've been doing a whole lot of thinking (what's new) and now I'm more confused than I was before I started thinking. One, I've been thinking about how I'm going to put together my schedule at Hi-Tech, and what i should do about Imo's. Should I stay? Should I quit? Should I pick up both days at hi-tech instead? I mean, it would be helpful. Reason being, I wouldn't have to be at work as early as I would at Imo's. SEcondly, the hours are pretty decent. Third, I would get paid more there for the same amt of time. Hmm... I mean, I guess it's a no-brainer, but it's almost like i'm scared to break away from Imo's. I've almost been there 4 years. 4 YEARS!!! That's a long time to be AnyWhere! Well, i dont know. I'm gonna give it a little more thought tomorrow b4 i go to hi-tech to try to get it together. Well, after 4 whole days, I FINALLY met my roommate. Wierd thing is, she's been living in the apartment since May and it looks as though no one even lives here. SEcondly, She's 25 and still living in an on-campus apartment. Third, i hadn't seen her at ALL until tonight. Ah well. It's all good, i guess. She seems nice and she has a cute accent. I basically asked her about some of my stuff i put in the living room. She's like, "i don't care. Do whatever u want. cool. It's fine. Blah blah blah. But i'm tired so i'm gonna go back to sleep." The converstion couldnt have been longer than maybe 2-3 minutes. Hmm.. weird. Now... Ever since i have moved into the apartment, i've been contemplating my relationship with bobby more than ever. I don't know whats going on with me. And the thing is, the whole problem with the relationship is ME!!! I can't configure whether or not it's just an internal conflict or something serious. It's like, Im having the same dilemma i did once before. However, there is a little twist to it. Before, I just couldn't decide whether or not i wanted to be with him or date. This time around, it seems as though my feelings for him have changed. I feel like i not only want to take things slower, but take a few paces back. Maybe im really not ready for this relationship yet. Now i'm fighting whether or not i want to be with HIm... or alone. Just alone. Not with any purpose. But i don't know WHY i feel this way! I don't want to kiss sometimes. I don't want to fool around. I just want to be around him... SO weird. However, I still care about him. i still love him. i still wait for him to call me when he says he is... What's up with that? What's up with ME?!!? Man, After one dilemma ends, another one begins.PS. If anyone has insight on this matter, PLEASE enlighten me.