it Begins

School. It begins... TomoRroW. Yup. It begins tomorrow and I am nowhere near ready. GoD!! One more week, P-Lease?! Hmph. No answer. Guess i have no choice, huh? Ah well. I'm not gonna fret. Anyway, I've been doing a whole lot of thinking (what's new) and now I'm more confused than I was before I started thinking. One, I've been thinking about how I'm going to put together my schedule at Hi-Tech, and what i should do about Imo's. Should I stay? Should I quit? Should I pick up both days at hi-tech instead? I mean, it would be helpful. Reason being, I wouldn't have to be at work as early as I would at Imo's. SEcondly, the hours are pretty decent. Third, I would get paid more there for the same amt of time. Hmm... I mean, I guess it's a no-brainer, but it's almost like i'm scared to break away from Imo's. I've almost been there 4 years. 4 YEARS!!! That's a long time to be AnyWhere! Well, i dont know. I'm gonna give it a little more thought tomorrow b4 i go to hi-tech to try to get it together. Well, after 4 whole days, I FINALLY met my roommate. Wierd thing is, she's been living in the apartment since May and it looks as though no one even lives here. SEcondly, She's 25 and still living in an on-campus apartment. Third, i hadn't seen her at ALL until tonight. Ah well. It's all good, i guess. She seems nice and she has a cute accent. I basically asked her about some of my stuff i put in the living room. She's like, "i don't care. Do whatever u want. cool. It's fine. Blah blah blah. But i'm tired so i'm gonna go back to sleep." The converstion couldnt have been longer than maybe 2-3 minutes. Hmm.. weird. Now... Ever since i have moved into the apartment, i've been contemplating my relationship with bobby more than ever. I don't know whats going on with me. And the thing is, the whole problem with the relationship is ME!!! I can't configure whether or not it's just an internal conflict or something serious. It's like, Im having the same dilemma i did once before. However, there is a little twist to it. Before, I just couldn't decide whether or not i wanted to be with him or date. This time around, it seems as though my feelings for him have changed. I feel like i not only want to take things slower, but take a few paces back. Maybe im really not ready for this relationship yet. Now i'm fighting whether or not i want to be with HIm... or alone. Just alone. Not with any purpose. But i don't know WHY i feel this way! I don't want to kiss sometimes. I don't want to fool around. I just want to be around him... SO weird. However, I still care about him. i still love him. i still wait for him to call me when he says he is... What's up with that? What's up with ME?!!? Man, After one dilemma ends, another one begins.PS. If anyone has insight on this matter, PLEASE enlighten me.

Quarantine

I'm sick... Very sick. Okay, Monday night my throat started acting funny. Tuesday. I had to work at the Chase and didn't get home until close to 12. This time, my nose started getting stuffy. By the time I woke up the next morning, I was definitely SICK! I kept blowing my nose the night b4 into the morning. Damn, this sux. I swear, I thought i was gonna blow up. It was somethin' fierce last night into this mornin', too. I'm feelin a little bit better today, though. God, I have to work at the Chase tomorrow, but I still have a pretty bad cough. I wonder if i can get rid of it by tomorrow. I hope so. Let's move on to somethin' a little less depressing. Well, I've been giving a few things a lot of thought (go fig). As far as getting a dog is concerned, it's obvious that I cant get one until I come back from Thailand. However, when I first come back, I STILL can't get one. Why? Well, I have to have my own place first. So.... I have to make sure that whatever job (or jobs) I have b4 I leave for Thailand, I need to make sure that my positions are insured when I come back. I've made up my mind that I can't take it easy when i come back. I have to speed things up. I have to make money right away so that I can get a place. But then i started thinking some more. Where am I gonna find a 1bdr apt for less than 500 bucks?? 'Cause I can't afford that, no matter WHAT job i have. (unless i get a tight-ass intership or some'n) Hmmm... none around here. Yes, i COULD get a roommate, but are they gonna have a job secured when they come back as well? It's hard to count on people, so that's something I will have to figure out when the time comes. Hmmm. Also, I've been thinking of the tattoo issue. As far as me getting one, I'm not getting one until i move out for good. I had been thinking about this for a while. How am I going to make a life-long decision like that when i can't take care of myself? Well, that's my reasoning on that tip. Call it a cop-out, but i'm for real. Who knows. I might decide NOT to get one after all. All i know is that the DoG comes first, damnit!!! ~P.S. I've written down a list of dog possibilities: 1) Yorkshire Terrier, 2) Shi Tzu, 3) Miniature Pinscher (was my 1st choice 'til i found out how noise it was:-\) , basenji, bolognese, dachshund, norfolk terrier, toy fox terrier, toy manchester terrier, cockapoo, chihuahuas, jack russell terrier, and toy american eskimos. that's not too long of a list, is it?